Not many people know what Fashion Stylist, Toyin Lawani want through, health wise, with FIBROIDS. So devastating was the ailment that it rendered this beautiful babe useless. She was bedridden for months. But she has since bounced back.
In this interview with City People Publisher, SEYE KEHINDE Toyin recently recounted her ordeal, plus how she parted ways with her former partner. It is a very moving story.
Is it true you suffered a big setback recently?
Oh yes.
I had some serious issues in my life years back. It was my Fibroids issue. I suffered Fibroids for a long time and I was always bleeding. Then, I had a huge operation. I nearly died. I almost lost my womb. My doctor told me at a point that you are not going to make it. You are going to lose your womb. So, the best thing to do is: have your baby, when you have your baby then you can revisit having this operation. Because they tried to do this operation 3 times and 3 times it didn’t work. They removed some. They couldn’t remove everything. They said it was too close. And I had a daughter already before I discovered my Fibroids problem. I said to myself thank God I have a daughter if I lose my womb I won’t feel anyhow , can you imagine the agony of having to lose your womb? My sisters then said, you’ve seen the doctors here. Can we now go to America and check other options?
So I got a doctor. We went there; he checked me and said yes, you have Fibroids. It is there and that is why you are bleeding. But you don’t need to remove your womb. You can carry the baby safely. We would do a temporary surgery for you; that will make the baby safe. So, while I got pregnant I had a lot to contend with. I was going through what they call Red degeneration and they said it is when the tumour is fighting your baby.
So my baby was not growing but the tumour was growing bigger than my baby because the tumour was sucking the blood from the baby. So, it got to a time, ( I had returned to Nigeria), that I was told Madam see you are not going to make it. We have to take out this child. Look it is either the child dies inside you, or you choose between your life and the child. I remember sitting down in this my office and I was crying. And I am like No way, I have gone through a lot for this child. I lost a lot of things because I made a decision to even have this child. At that time, I didn’t have anything. I lost my home. I lost everything I had. I was stripped of everything because I broke up with my ex. I lost everything I had ever worked for. I lost it.
ABOUT MY DAUGHTER TIANNAH
What went through your mind at that time?
A lot. To be very honest I think it is God that pulled me through because I had a lot of negative people around me then. And when you have negative people around you, they can only advice you in a bad way, you will not excel, until you get rid of these negative energy around you, then you can move forward. Right now, I don’t have time for friends. The only thing I have time for is my work, my family. That is all. I need to make sure I set a very good example for my daughter. The way I have taken my mum’s legacy I need my daughter to take my legacy. That is why I named this business around her. I want her to take this big platform you are seeing today to the next level. She is Tiannah. I am not Tiannah, I am only holding brief for her.
MY MUM WAS A HUGE INFLUENCE
Whatever I am doing today I am doing it for her (Tiannah) future. I have started thinking after death. My mum knew she was going to die, and she sat me down and said, they said I am going to die in 3 days. This is what I want you to do. She had Cancer. Her cancer was very bad. She couldn’t talk. She had a cancer 6 years ago. We had to be strong to take that reality. We flew her body back home. She had a huge impact on my life. My skin product, Tiannah styling, the fashion business, the fabric business she started it. I have just been able to take her ideas to another level and infuse more things like the choreography studio, the movie video directing, I have always had a salon, she always had a salon. I have always had a boutique, she always had her boutique. I imposed the fashion school. I infused the photography school. I infused the Nail school, the Beauty school. I want this place to be like somewhere you can come in and learn all the things you need to learn about Fashion and Beauty.
How did you feel when your mum passed on?
When I lost my mum to Cancer it was really hard on me. But I bounced, I got over it. I have gone through a lot. She was a huge part of my life. My mum was my mentor like from when I was 16 and I got into UNILAG, she never stopped me once from being what I wanted to be. When she found out that I had enrolled at Opral Benson Beauty School, at the same time I was going to UNILAG, she didn’t get upset. She said fine. She encouraged me. After I finished that, I went back to meet her and said I want to go to a hair school in Korea. She said ok, I went. I told her at a point I want to go to China, I want to go and learn this and that I want to go to the US. She will support. She will always have a name of a contact person to help me. She sent me to a school in New York. She never got worried that I want to do a bit of everything she just kept pushing me.
HOW I SUCCEEDED IN LIFE
Did you think Toyin Lawani would be where she is today?
A: Yes. A lot of people ask me that question too. A lot of people often ask me Do you think you are going to be here. And I always tell them Yes. I prepared for it. Its what you work for in life that you get.
In your own case what prepared you for this success?
My background. My grandma was the Adele Oba of Ikoyi-Ikole Ekiti. We have an estate in Ibadan. We had a huge restaurant there, pharmacy, super market, depot, it was on a big estate called Babalola Estate in Odo-Ona, Ibadan. Babalola is my grandma’s name.
So growing up I was able to learn a lot. My grandma had a restaurant. My mum read Hotel Management in California. She had this salon. She read beauty as well. She used to give me her cream and would say mix for me. It was always natural remedies. She believed in natural products a lot. She started selling creams to her friends.
Getting mixed up with all these made me develop an interest in it. She had 8 kids but out of all her children I was the only one that had serious passion for the fashion and beauty. She had material shop on Lagos Island at Gota, Oshodi, Yaba, she was selling cars along that Oshodi road, she had a car shop at Surulere. My mum was an entrepreneur like me. She was a business mogul. If you say I am fine, I am not fine. If you saw my late mum she was a swaggalicious mama.
The way she carries herself, what she even teaches you. And you know once you are exposed in the olden days you will be ahead of people. That was one of the things she taught me. She said Toyin you have to be ahead of everybody in this business, everytime.
That is why I am forever learning new things. Do you know at some point I went to school in Korea, just to learn new things. When I was in Korea, I used to sit on the floor to eat. There is this thing they will bring and we all cook our food, so I realised that in Korea that is their tradition. They don’t have chairs. They sit on the floor in restaurant and just keep a low table. I started going to China when I was 14. She was pregnant for my last sister she had for Shina Peters then she sent me to go and collect her goods in China. And she put me on the plane and told some Chinese people to pick me up. She gave me the opportunity and the experience.
HOW I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN
After the doctor told me they would have to remove my womb because of FIBROIDS I got pregnant again I thanked God for the pregnancy even if I didn’t have a place to stay, even if I didn’t have an office again, even if I had lost everything I have because my man then stripped me bare of everything I had, I still had faith in myself. When I told my friend I was going to leave where I used to stay she said to me: Toyin how will you cope? You will suffer ooo! I laughed. I said to her only a lazy person will suffer.
I will not suffer. I have my talent. This advice I am giving right now I give it to all young girls that come to me. I sit them down. And I tell them point blank, go and work!
I don’t have any man picking my bills focus on your work. Stop following men everywhere. That is the truth. I learnt my lesson the hardway. Before I relocated all my business under one roof I had them scattered around Victoria Island. Amaladot.com, my food business was close to my house. That is where my tailoring arm was. My tailors were working from there. I use to wake up early in the morning by 10am. By the time I go downstairs to work with my tailors 3 hours, I will go to Amaladot.com by 1pm to 2pm. I will stay with them till 3pm. By the time I get to my Victoria Island shop they will say some customers came to see you, they are gone. I was running around like this for years not concentrating well on my business, I was distracted but the vision was there.
Before I knew it my staff and workers began to steal my money. My tailors were beginning to sew rubbish styles because I was not monitoring them well. The salon, Spa boutique were not doing well. At a point I had 20 staff but I was not supervising them well.
Many of them stole from me blindly, I had to plan for them and I got some of them in the salon and boutique arrested by the Police. Those in the salon will not use my products. They will use their products and make money for themselves.
When you run a big organisation like mine you have to be careful because all of them can form a big gang and ruin your business if you are not attentive.
WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FIBROIDS
So, you can imagine I lost all these and I now lost my home. I now got an apartment and started off my life again with my new partner. Then, I started having that red-degeneration. So, I would not work. I was bed ridden for 4 months. They had to fly me to London. I was using wheel chair to push myself everywhere.
Really?
Yes. It was that bad but I kept it private. I only spoke out about my Fibroids last year because I had that major surgery. I just felt let me talk about it to teach others a big lesson. I am a strong woman I never show weakness, even when something is wrong with me I won’t show it, because once you show weakness that is it. I don’t need anybody’s pity. When I eventually put the news out there about my ordeal, I put it out there because of women who are suffering in silence, when I did I got about 5,000 emails. So far I have taken about 500 woman to the hospital that I used, to go and do their surgery.
Have you observed that these days you will see many woman with big tummies. You will think they are pregnant but they are not. It is Fibroids in their tummies. I take all of them to this hospital in Lagos, here on Adetokunbo Ademola in Victoria Island. It is called AVI Maria. Now, they have moved to their big branch in Oniru. They are running the 2. They are well trained Lebanese doctors.
These doctors are good. Initially, I didn’t want them to cut me open in Nigeria. Whatever happened to me just happened before I had my baby, I had some complications I was hospitalised in London for a while, they were able to curb it.
You know Nigerians, they told me to go and remove the baby, that the baby will not survive. I had to go to another hospital. In that hospital they told me just stay on bed rest.
HOW MY EX DEALT WITH ME
We will be able to give you the right injections. They were giving me injections through my stomach so they were giving me the right injections that will reduce the Fibroids in size and let my baby grow well in my womb.
That is how I was able to deliver that fine boy that you see running around my shop. I went through hell then. I was in pains all through. My business collapsed. My business was grounded. All my staff left.
Really…
Oh yes. Nobody will stay with you if you don’t have money to give them. Even my most trusted tailors, and allies left. They took all my staff along with them. Its the grace of God that I am still have because they took everything I had from me-the staff, my friends, my confidants, everybody showed me that life is not what it is meant to be.
During that process, one of my family members then gave me a small apartment and said stay here for a while till you have your baby. You can be sending your child to school from here till you get back on your feet.
It was painful leaving my former house, because I did it to my taste. But I had to let go when the intimidation was getting too much. Then, I will be sleeping in my house and I will be seeing strange people trying to invade my house just to intimidate and harass me, breaking the door down. Why? This is my house.
If like you said you built this house for me, then it is my house. But, why all the harassment? After I noticed that this wasn’t going to stop, I gave up. My pastor said one thing to me when he prayed for me. He said look Toyin, what is yours is yours, nobody can take it from you. For peace sake I will not want you in this pregnant state, with your bleeding to be engaged in some meaningless fights. Look Uncle, I bled till I had my son. I bled for a month 9 months till I had that boy. I bled from the first month I got pregnant till the day I had that boy. You can imagine I was bleeding, not small bleeding. It was so bad that I used to wear adult pampers. He said Toyin, let go.
Take care of your health. So, I let go and I told God, this is my path. I know what I have always wanted for my life but I could not work. I was sick. I could also not walk. I was bedridden. I got better when I was 8 months and 2 weeks.
At that time one lady Etel Okosun gave me a job at Eko Hotel. She said someone was trying to spoil me before her and she fought for me. She said why are you trying to spoil this lady. So, she gave me a job. She said I don’t know her but I like her work. She is the one I am going to work with. She said I want Tiannah to handle my event. She is a professional. She is very good. She is the only one who can raise a team of 50. She is a benefit to me. I appreciate her.
It was at that time that my landlord that I was paying rent of 1.5 in Victoria Island all of a sudden came with N8.5 million because he saw how I broke the place down and made it look good. I did the place up and made it nice. He now increased the rent. He started giving me problems.
I now called a Lawyer. My lawyer now said that amount is ridiculous. Leave the place for them. I moved out. I left all my load in Victoria Island. I did not take one furniture from that place.
I was sick and bedridden. I did not go back there. Is it not somebody who is healthy and strong that will be going to fight for goods she placed in a salon somewhere. I lost a lot. I had to start all over again when I moved in here. I began again I did not bring one old furniture or equipment into Tiannahs Place Empire.
You can’t believe that in that state, I still had to hustle for money to take care of my baby I wanted to have and my daughter too. I was to have my baby abroad. My daughter was to go with me to London too. So I had to take up that job the lady offered me.
The job paid me well. So even till like 8 months, 8 weeks people were still asking me that am I really pregnant because I had a way I kept shielding it with the flowing outfits I wore then. I was struggling to work. I still tried to be active. I will lie down, try to rest but when I think of the bills, I had to pay I will stand up again.
At that time I remembered the lesson that my mum taught me that you are not rich until you sleep, and you are making money. When I got pregnant I announced my pregnancy at African Fashion Week in London. When I came out people said whao! So she is pregnant. I hid it for a while. I came on the runway 3 years ago in London.
When I went back stage to come out again about a 100 people came to meet me, my fans from all over. Some came with her daughter from Manchester to see me. Another came from Dublin I saw different people. Vogue came to interview me because of my designs. I do unique pieces. I don’t do all these Ankara designs.
I NO LONGER CARE ABOUT FAME
The Vogue magazine people said when they saw my designs they could not believe that a Nigerian will come up with that concepts. I don’t do Ankara designs. I do unique designs. I appreciate our culture, but I believe you need to differentiate your style I like making outfits out of papers. Ghana Must Go. So if you stand out or you want to go over the roof top you will use me. That show made me realize how big I was outside of this country and how well people appreciate me. I went to America for African Fashion LA. I did the show and one guy came to meet me. He said I like your pieces I am Kenny Rowland’s stylist, I have a video shoot tomorrow. Can you come? I said yes. I went. From Kenny Rowland they hooked me up with Soulja boy and other people in the industry. But here in Nigeria, they would not help each other. That is how I broke into the US market. I thank God for all these breakthroughs. Am I the only stylist in Nigeria that Ciara will now ask for me when she came? No! But your work will speak for itself.
I was running around for Love Like A Movie concert, working back to back like a mad woman, I did not sleep. They gave me that job 9 days before I did outfits out of Glass.
I raised a team of 40 people from hair stylists, designers, we shared ourselves into groups. Each artiste had a stylist all from me. Jazz man Olojin, Vector, name it, Blackky, Weird MC, everybody was there. I took all my tailors backstage. I took all my machines back stage so that we could meet up, doing amendments and fittings. I took my 2 kids along with me to help. Ciara’s manager saw me working and was impressed. She said she will make me meet Ciara tomorrow. I had forgotten I didn’t have the time to start familiarizing myself with Ciara.
I was doing my work. I don’t care about Fame. Fame comes to people who don’t really want it. I don’t want Fame I want Money. There is a difference between the 2. There are some people that are famous but they are broke. What is the point of being famous and you don’t have money? It doesn’t make sense. I do things to be remembered in the future. I want my legacy to be remembered.
MY FIGHT WITH TONTO DIKEH
How did you feel the day you delivered your son?
I was happy that at last I had him. Towards the last days of my pregnancy there was this controversy online. I was 6 months pregnant when this controversy started. It was this girl, Tonto Dike. She went online, and she wrote on Stella Dimoko that I was pregnant for her boyfriend. A lot of people didn’t know what she was talking about. They though she was talking about my baby daddy, Kess, the musician. So people started saying a lot at me, before I knew it, they said I was pregnant for the man.
Meanwhile, she was talking about another person. Thank God I had a good mother-in-law and when my husband wanted to start getting agitated with the story, the mother told him one thing. The mother said see my son, don’t worry yourself, 9 months is not far. When she delivers when we see the baby you will know.
Thank God they said the man is very black. They would know if it is the man, meanwhile, this was a man I was working for. I was working for his family, his children, I am close to his wife. The woman thought I was truly dating her husband. That caused a lot of problems for me. I had to apologize to them. It was not funny being the cause of dragging their family name in the mud. I don’t know why this girl did this. The man is a respected man. He is a public figure. This is a man I work for his son, L.A.X and his daughter. I am like a part of the family then the next thing I hear is I am pregnant for him. It is crazy. How do you think the woman will feel hearing or reading that I am pregnant for her husband? Definitely, she will not like it. She will not want me to be close to them anymore. She would not want me in their family.
And I am like why all these mess because I am not talking to you anymore. These are people whose career has meant so much to me. I will go to Complete Fashion and I will do photo shoot for them. Many of them I have had to transform and helped their careers.
Right now, all that has changed, I focus on my job more, not on friendship. That is why I have stopped taking photo with these celebrities. I have stopped it, I will rather show the work I did for the celebrity than showing my picture with them. You will never see me on the red carpet except I am working backstage or working on the show. I want to show my work now.
After having this boy, with all its controversies I wanted to reply all these people online but my PR consultant Layole said I shouldn’t reply. Imagine you being on your side bed and you begin to read all these rubbish stuff. That is why I have stopped reading blogs. Anybody that goes to read blogs these days will not move forward. You cannot please these bloggers. You cannot please the whole world.
MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ME
Most people don’t know me but they go ahead and judge me. Some people come here to confess that they base their judgment about me on hearsay. They come here to tell me themselves what they have heard and said. But all that will not stop me. People troop here daily to see me despite all the bad things some people say.
People that will patronize me, patronize me. People bring wedding dress from London and America for me to sew for them, and ship it back. Can you believe that? Am I the only designer? Don’t they have fashion designer abroad. What will be will be. People fly me to London and Dubai to style them. That is how big Tiannah has become. I did one recently in Dubai, Mariam, I have been able to pass that stage of negativity.
WHEN I GAVE BIRTH TO MY SON I CRIED
Immediately I saw my son I cried. That has never ever happened to me before. I didn’t cry when I had my daughter, but for my son, I cried. The baby did not even come when it was expected to come. I was in hospital for 3 days. I didn’t even know I just told them I am seeing water ooo! They said I should come. I was in the hospital for 3 days there was nothing they didn’t do, the baby did not come. I was scared when I was going through all these. I felt I have suffered for this baby I shouldn’t come and lose it.
The baby was the only thing that was keeping me sane, that was keeping me on track. I was happy that what I wanted the most that they told me I could not have again I am carrying it and I know that after I have this baby, I am going to remove my womb. I am not going to have another baby in my life. It was scary. The Fibroids was growing big and it was 3 big ones. My kidney, my bladder everything was affected. They had to pass a pipe inside me for me to be able to pee. During that time I was still moving round and coordinating events at Eko Hotel. The mistake I made earlier was to have depended on a man. I have learnt that lesson. Look if you let a man feed you a man would starve you. You know the person I was married to before, was a public figure. He didn’t like all these press and social media. Linda and Stella Dimorcus used to bug me then. I will cry to Layole. Now, when they write anything now my husband will say so what? That is their business.
HOW I BOUNCED BACK
When you are with a right person in your life, all those things will not matter to them. The person will not come about anything, because you people are compatible. You are not living your life to please them. It took a long time, after I had my son, I found my life again. It was just one contract that changed my life again. In the good old days, I was spending lavishly. I used to buy cars for people, helping them. The same people I was buying cars for and taking care of are the same set of people that were stabbing me in the back. So right now I have acquaintances, I still have good people like Eniola Badmus, Layola, they are my friends.
You know why? They will go to the extreme that I will go for them. If we women can stop backbiting and we all come together I swear we would be more powerful.
HOW I REBUILT MY BUSINESS
When I started this place again it was hard work. I got a job to build a house for a client, because the client saw one house that we built. I run a company, Tiannah Home and Furnishing Ltd. I build I sell land. I set up businesses for people. I set up a business for one girl in Ghana. She opened a SPA, a salon, a boutique. People saw it and started sending me messages, showing interest. The same man that sent me a message that I should set up a business now gave me a house to do. I did it for him at cost price. I worked with his wife on the project. I got the land, built the house and set it up. Other people saw it and started calling me. Then this man called me from the blues to come and help him build. I got the contract because of the small job I did for that other man.
This man now gave me this big job. That is how I started my life all over again. That was 2 years ago. The gains I got from the job I saved up, after I had my baby, came back to Nigeria and began to look for a building to buy. My son’s father came one day and said he has found where I could use. He said it is buildings you can break it and join it together. It’s an old house. This place was initially built with mud, clay. I had to renovate it. I had to rebuild it. It was 2 houses separated from each other.
When I got here and I saw it, I liked it and I had to give him a kiss that yes, you’ve found my Empire. I have built 6 different apartments at the back here. My tailors all live here now. They eat here at my restaurant. My photo studio is there. My dance school is here. We do rehearsals there. I also rent it out for shooting. My styling outfit is there. Now I have all my businesses under one roof. This is what I have always wanted to do.
God said to me, Toyin you will own this by yourself and no man will be able to take it away from you. So I have been hungry. I have been out in the cold. I have been carless. I am From a very rich home but I cannot go back to my Dad and tell him what I went through:
Why?
Because my Dad was not in support of my relationship with the person I was with. He will tell you didn’t I tell you. So, I had to make it by myself. So my family can appreciate me. They can know its my hardwork. Before now everything I had owned or ever accomplished had been attributed to the man I was dating. And people look at me as if I don’t have talent or brains. I existed under his shadow. All that has stoped. I am globally acknowledged now. I go on line and I see all the titles they give me.- Serial mogul, serial entrepreneur Toyin Lawani, stylist extraordinaire Toyin Lawani, fashion icon, designer, beautician, skin analyst Toyin Lawani.
Now I have made all these names for myself without nobody. So tell me who can take it away from me? Nobody. Its only God. It’s through hardwork that I got here o.
Now, my life has changed, there were a lot of things I used to like to do on Sundays I don’t like to do them again. I realized I don’t like those things anymore. For instance going to the club. Then I will go to the club and waste money and waste money with friends. Signing bills of N1.5 on alcohol. Haa! We have wasted money in the past. The same friends that drank the alcohol with me when the alcohol finished they all disappeared.
When the car quenched they did nto come. I realized and learnt the had lesson that you have to fall to rise, you have to lose to learn. If you don’t lose you cannot win. I have learnt a lot. I thank God for my life. I have 42 staff here now. I pay interns too. They are learning from me. My school is N450,000. I have 20 students in my school. They pay for it. I train 17 students. When you come to my school you become an all rounder. You will not only learn fashion designing, you will learn styling, make up and how to tie gele, do hair and skin. I multi task. I can do all these. There is no aspect of all these that I can’t do. That is why people call me a Miracle worker. I learnt to know my work because if you don’t know your work they will mess you about.
The post ‘How FIBROIDS Nearly Killed Me’, Popular Fashion Stylist, TOYIN LAWANI Recounts Ordeal appeared first on CityPeople Magazine Nigeria | Nigerian Celerbrities | Entertainment | Stars.